Facing the Blank Page

Writing is scary

My manuscript printed for editing

I say often that facing the blank page is the most exciting part of writing. I definitely mean the stage before planning, where there’s endless possibilities and no stakes. Because after planning and researching and thinking for an endless number of hours... That blank page where you have to actually—y’know—write the story, is like staring into the void.

Because a blank page cannot be judged. It can't be bad, and it certainly can't fail. It isn't until the words start being written that it becomes something that bleeds you and your humanity and all your vulnerabilities. It becomes open to criticism. And sometimes that hovering fear of inadequacy means that my blank pages remain blank.

I’ve been taught that no one procrastinates for no reason. In film school, a directing prof once told us that there was no such thing as a difficult actor. If an actor shows up to set late, or drunk, or unwilling to work, they aren’t unmotivated. Actors want to act, it’s why they do it. What’s going on there is fear. In directing we call it resistance. There’s a part of them that believes they won’t be able to play the character to everyone’s expectations, and daunted by the eyes of the crew, they procrastinate or self sabotage or become ‘difficult to work with’.

It's easier, and safer, to not try than to try and fail. It's the expectation that stops us in our tracks. We’ve done all this work and told a few people we were starting a new project and put our hearts on the page for everyone to see, and now it has to be good.

I try to stifle that voice. I’m not saying I have low standards, but in my first draft, it’s just me and the page. Try to forget what you expect from the story, and just have a bit of fun. There’s time and more drafts and many cups of coffee to fix it later, so allow yourself to expect nothing.

              And create something.